The Spirit of Christmas
by RosieRathbone
Summary: "Bah, humbug", the famous words of Mr. Scrooge, and this year stubborn Ebenezer is coming in the form of Edward Cullen who lives in regret and no longer experiences the same thrill of the holidays like he used to. But with a little help he is determined to change what went wrong and start again. After all, 'tis the season to be jolly. AH.
1. Christmas Wishes

**It's that time of year again! And before anyone asks, yes, I am continuing on with my other WIPs, I simply haven't had the time recently. But I hope you all enjoy this bit of festive fun.**

 **This plot bunny came from two things in particular. 'A Christmas Carol' by Charles Dickens, and the song 'Hello' by Adele. 'Cause Adele knows how to hit me with all the emotions and all the feels.**

 **These are short chapters, posted fairly regularly between now and December 25th. Anything recognizable is obviously not mine, and a big thank you to my "Bossman" for her brilliant help with this story - much love.**

 **Chapter 1: Christmas Wishes.**

The little girl dressed in her favorite red dress with a matching bow in her white-blond hair stood patiently in line holding onto her mother's hand. The entire line was made up of children around her age all eager to meet the man himself. As Riley's turn rolled around she started to get nervous - this was a big moment in every child's life! Meeting Father Christmas is not something you take lightly.

He had brought two elves down from the North Pole with him, both elves greeted Riley and her Mommy with big enthusiastic smiles, they helped her through the thick red curtains. It felt like a maze to someone as small as Riley. But all her patient waiting had finally paid off, and Father Christmas sat just a few steps away in a grand oak chair fit for a king.

"It's nice to see you again, Riley." The large man smiled a warm, comforting smile, although his cotton-like beard did hide some of it.

 _He knew my name!_ The little girl shouted inside her head. _It really is him!_ What Riley hadn't noticed was the card Mommy handed to one of the elves which held all the important details 'Santa' would need to know, but why spoil the magic?

"You remember me!" Her excitement had her jiggling on the man's lap.

"Of course I do. And your little brother, Daxton, is he here today?"

"No - he was really naughty so Mommy and Daddy said he not allowed to see you."

"Well Mommy and Daddy are right; I only visit the good children which is why you must be very well behaved, Riley. Can you do that for me?" She nodded her head which made her high pigtails swing and bounce. "Good girl. Now, what would you like for Christmas this year?"

"Um... I want a Queen Elsa dress 'cause she's my favorite from Frozen and a new dolly 'cause my baby gets lonely and that's not very nice." Before 'Santa' could reply, Riley spoke up again. This time her voice was much quieter. "Um... can I have more than one Christmas wish? Mommy said you make my Christmas wishes come true but she not say how many I have."

"Of course you can. What is your other wish?" Riley's allowed time was quickly running out, however this young girl sounded so sincere with her request for one more wish, that Mr. Claus couldn't say no to her.

"My Uncle is real sad and he doesn't smile anymore or pretend to be a horse that I can ride anymore, so can you make him happy again, please? I think he wants to smile again."

"Well Riley, that is a very thoughtful gift. What do you think would make him smile?"

Riley didn't take long to answer. Anyone who knew her Uncle knew what he wanted.

"My Auntie Bella."

 _0-0_

Alice met her excited daughter after she had finished talking to Father Christmas. She was too far away to hear what they had spoken about, but the smile on Riley's face said it all. Whatever Father Christmas had promised her clearly made her happy, and all Alice had to do now was figure out just what that promise was.

"Did you have fun, Sweetheart?"

"Yes. He remembered me, Mommy! He remembered Daxton too but I said he was too naughty to see him."

The two headed off through the busy shopping center towards the exit of the parking lot. As much as Alice loves to spend her day snooping around the mall, but when it was as busy as it was, she'd rather stay well away.

"Mommy," Riley asked a few minutes later, "do you think he'll come this year?"

"As long as you are a very good girl, Santa will always visit you."

" _No,_ not Santa! I meant _him."_

"Oh." Mommy stopped in her tracks, thinking of the best way to answer her daughter's question. "I hope so, Sweetheart. But let's not worry about that for now, okay? Let's go save Daddy from your brother's tantrums."

The man they spoke cryptically about sat alone in his isolated log cabin. The snow had started, but he found no energy to start a fire. A toasty, crackling fire which added warmth to the house, comfort to the mind, and a festive feeling to the holiday. Why should he allow such torture? It has been a family tradition that every year, once Thanksgiving had settled, everyone would assist with putting up the Christmas tree and decorating it with the shiniest baubles. They really found themselves in that festive spirit which would continue to grow through the following month.

But for Edward it was different. He barely celebrated Thanksgiving anymore, let alone stay for the decorating. He lost his love for Christmas when he lost his reason to love it. Hell, he lost more than that - he lost his whole reason for _being._ The days ticked by, the pain never ceased to clear.

As the snow continued to fall, Edward prepared himself for another long, lonely, painful holiday.

 _0-0_

 **Please let me know what you thought and whether you'd like to read more. A collage has been posted on my Facebook group (RosieRathbone FanFiction) containing a picture of all the characters.**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	2. Heartfelt Memories

**So, loads of people have commented saying they think that Bella is dead, or asking if she is. Well... here's your answer.**

 **Thank you for the feedback for the last chapter - it made my heart swell!**

 **Chapter Two: Heartfelt Memories.**

Bella loves her job. She loves how every day is different, that things could change within the fraction of a second, but most importantly she loves how busy it makes her. From a young age she knew she wanted to be a doctor - Bella loved any TV drama based around a hospital; she watched them all. And yes, a fictional TV drama may not be the most realistic interpretation of a hospital or the life of a doctor, but she watched them regardless. She completed her internship at Seattle's Harborview Medical Center, and is now pushing her own group of interns around the hospital, and taking control of her own surgeries.

The only thing Bella wasn't too fond of was the fact that the Chief of the hospital was Carlisle Cullen. He had always seen her like another daughter, and had things gone to plan the chances are he would have been her father-in-law, but then everything changed. The family is still to overcome said changes.

"Bella?" He found her in ER going over various files and patient charts. She had a, what seemed to be, fresh cup of coffee resting on the side. "Have you heard from Esme recently?" He spoke of his wife - the sweetest, most loving woman you'd ever meet. She would drop everything for anyone, especially her family.

"Yeah; I had a message left on my cell yesterday. She mentioned my invitation for Christmas dinner." In all honesty Bella was meant to return the call, however she fell asleep before she could, and was still thinking over what her answer would be. "I don't know, Carlisle... I don't want to spoil the day for anyone."

"I wouldn't worry about that, my dear. He hasn't taken part in a family holiday since... since that day. Why would this year be any different?"

The pain never ceased, and when they spoke about that particular topic, the pain increased. She missed him. She missed him so very much, but there was a reason they broke up, and she had to remember that, no matter how much it hurts.

A serious of chimes and bleeps alerted Bella to her pager and cell phone. She couldn't have felt more relived for her sudden excuse to leave the awkward conversation. "Sorry, Chief - I really need to take this. I'll... er... catch you later?" but before he could answer she was off down the hall to where the emergency lay.

 _0-0_

On returning home Bella thought again about her invitation for Christmas dinner. She had been invited for Thanksgiving, but she had to work that evening, not that that bothered her in the slightest - why sit around a table hearing everyone speak about how thankful they were when, in all honesty, she didn't feel thankful for much. She appreciated her job and how it gave her a roof over her head and food to eat, but the gapping hole in her heart overran everything else. He was missing from her life.

It was a joint decision to break off the relationship. She had given Edward plenty chances to change his attitude towards her, but nothing ever seemed to change, and then one night - a little over two years ago - the couple had an argument and they haven't seen or heard from each other since.

Bella remembers the arguments; the times where a sudden emergency surgery kept her in the OR for hours longer than expected, and Edward's spiteful tone when their plans were cancelled once again. But what could she do about it? He knew that time was not her own - Edward said he understood and accepted the fact that her job comes first. Bella wouldn't be a very good doctor if she didn't want to finish her shift with all her patients still alive and breathing.

But maybe she could have done more? Maybe, had Bella not accepted a surgery so quickly, they could have shared more date nights together? Edward was so cynical, and Bella was so stubborn that the two clashed more than they would have liked.

This was the hardest time of the year for the two of them. Christmas was 'their' thing - it was when they _officially_ announced their relationship, and every year they'd make it special and prolong the holiday for as long as possible. Edward always knew that if he were to propose it would have been on Christmas Day. It's no wonder they feel so lost nowadays.

That may just be the main reason Bella works so much - the more you work the less time you have to sit and think about the bad things in life. Unfortunately for Edward his job requires him to stay and work from home. The worst place for memories. If Bella knew things could change, and everything could be different, would she try again? Would she forgive, forget, and start anew? In a heartbeat.

But sometimes it's easier to admit defeat and carry on.

 _0-0_

 **Just have faith. Trust that I can turn this around.**

 **Thoughts?**


	3. The Past part 1

**A Christmas Carol is known for it's ghosts of Past, Present and Future, so, just like Mr. Scrooge, Edward needs to go through the same thing before he realizes his mistake.**

 **Speech in italics are conversations that Edward and Bella shared before they broke up.**

 **A longer chapter this time with f-bombs going off all over the place.**

 **Chapter Three: The Past part 1.**

He trekked through the snow on his journey to the bar. It didn't take much to have Edward agree to meet his brother's; he may not enjoy social interactions, but he felt differently when it came to getting drunk in their local. He knew what they were going to discuss - the same conversation always came up when they were together. Taking his last inhale of smoke Edward stubbed his cigarette butt out in the snow and released the smoke in one solid breath before preparing himself for the torture which was to come.

Bella hated the fact that he smoked - being a doctor she was all against anything that could harm your body - but maybe that's why he does it so much now; just to do it in spite of her. It's his life and his body; he can do whatever the hell he likes with it.

0-0

 _"_ _Really, Edward? You'll be better off burning ten dollars every day then buying those cancer sticks."_

 _"_ _But I wouldn't get anything out of that would I."_

 _"_ _Yes, but imagine what you_ could _achieve from it."_

 _"_ _I guess it would get you off my fucking back..."_

 _With the shake of her head Bella ignored his immature comment and left the room._

0-0

Blacks was alive with the cheer and laughter coming from it's regulars. Some, who Edward knew from sight, would have been sitting there for hours - the same stool, the same drink, every single day. He made his way to a break in the bar crowd where Jacob had a beer uncapped and ready for Edward to enjoy. The tavern was owned by Jacob's father, Billy, but ever since arthritis began to cripple his body and Jacob became of age he took over most of the hours to free his father from the strain.

"How ya doin' today, Edward?"

Edward shrugged his shoulders and let out a grunt in response. "Meh."

Understanding the cue to leave it there, Jacob pointed towards the far corner of the room, "Emmett and Jasper are waiting for you." Like most people in town, Jacob had known the Cullens since he was a small child. And because of that he knew how to handle the constant mood swings that came his way.

"Nice of you to finally join us, bro." Emmett cut off their conversation to greet his brother. He was half tempted to roll his eyes when Edward never apologized for being almost an hour late and slumped down on his stool whilst taking a hard swig from the bottle.

"Em', just leave it. At least he arrived." Jasper was always the mediator in the arguments between his brothers. He may only be their brother through marriage, but that didn't mean anything to them; the three had been friends long before Jasper married Edward and Emmett's sister, Alice.

Emmett finished the last of his drink in one giant gulp and dropped his glass down on the table with a clash. "Fine, next round on you, brother. Not like you do anything else with your money."

"I work hard for these dollars," Edward replied with a sneer, "excuse me if I want to save them."

"What? Sitting at your computer all day, fixing some strangers fuck ups? That's not the hardest job in the world. Some people, y'know, save lives for a living..."

With a thud Edward dropped his half-empty bottle and glared at his brother across the table, "oh, low fucking blow."

Jasper chose that moment to intervene once again, "right Emmett, let's leave this conversation. We did not plan this night just for you to sit there and throw off comments like that."

Emmett, who clearly had one too many Jack and cokes that evening, took that advice and began their next topic of interest. He was getting more and more annoyed with Edward's cynical attitude and wanted to get it sorted once and for all. "We need to know if you're attending Christmas this year or not."

Edward shrugged - he found that move easier than voicing his thoughts. "Maybe."

"' _Maybe'_ is not a fucking answer, dude. It's not us that I'm worried about, it's the kids." With a thumb Emmett pointed to his left towards Jasper, "what is he and Alice meant to tell Riley and Daxton? _Oh, sorry kids, Uncle Edward is a dick and doesn't want to see you this year. Or any year."_

"Fuck this, and fuck you. I'm not taking that shit." With fury bubbling in his blood Edward finished his drink and then stood to leave and dropped twenty bucks next to the empty bottle. "Here, call it a Christmas present from me."

 _"_ _Oh bah humbug!"_ Emmett bellowed to his brother's retreating form.

Edward passed a liqueur store on his journey back to the cabin and without a seconds thought he entered the store and left a few minutes later with a large bottle of scotch in hand. The only way to rid of him of the new rage was to drink away his problems. He didn't hesitate in opening the bottle.

 _0-0_

 _"_ _Edward? Love, wake up..." Bella had returned from work to find him fast asleep on the couch - a selection of empty beer bottles scattered the ground and a soft snore drifted from his slumped body._

 _"_ _You're finally home?" The annoyance was clear in his tone._

 _"_ _Yes, I'm so sorry." Bella leaned in to kiss him but when he dismissed her action she chose to clear up his mess instead. "You drink far too much. I don't like it."_

 _"_ _Eight beers isn't going to kill me."_

 _"_ _But what starts off as eight beers soon leads to much more than that."_

 _"_ _Whatever. I'm going to bed."_

 _Bella couldn't remember the last conversation they shared when one wasn't shouting at the other._

 _0-0_

It didn't take long for Edward to finish the scotch. Hell, he wasn't even home before the liter bottle was thrown into the trash. Of course, with that much alcohol in his system, it quickly took effect - he could no longer walk in a straight line and he found himself voicing his drunken thoughts more than keeping them in his head.

"Hey look at me, Bella; I'm drinking and smoking too much! What'aya gonna do about it? Run and tell my parents? Like you've never done anything wrong. _Ooh look at me, I put fucking band aids on kids' knees therefore I'm God's fucking gift, and I work so much that I never see my own family._ Boo hoo! Run and tell someone who gives a shit, bitch."

Edward continued to stagger and shout abuse into the air.

 _"_ _You're never home anymore. Your niece and nephew miss you. It's not the same without you there. You work a shitty job - it's not even that hard._ You ever done my job, Emmett? No, you fucking haven't. So until you have done do you wanna keep that fucking mouth shut? Cheers bro; means a lot."

"I've done so much for all of them and what do I get? Shit-ton of abuse thrown at me. Like, no wonder I can't be assed with them anymore."

Edward was too busy talking to himself that he never noticed the giant slab of ice spread out across the side walk. His feet slid from side to side uncontrollably, he waved his hands out to grab anything to keep him steady, but the nearest thing was just that tiniest bit too far away. Edward fell forward suddenly - without the grip his hands slipped away before they braced his fall, and his head smacked off the solid ground. He blacked-out almost instantly.

By the time he came round again Edward was already in the back of an ambulance. Heading towards the last place he wanted to be. And the last person he wished to see.

 _0-0_

 **So in part 2 they'll reunite... how do you think that's going to go?**

 **Thanks for reading, and let me know what you thought!**

 **X**


	4. The Past part 2

**Once again a massive thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read and review the chapters so far. Much appreciated!**

 **Chapter Four: The Past part 2.**

The time was shortly after midnight and Bella was standing in The Pit after doing a check on her assigned patients. She had found a spare five minutes to rest her feet and catch up on the paperwork that had piled up, and what with being in The Pit Bella would know if any emergencies came in and that way she won't miss out on anything. Ten minutes later the tell-tale signs of the ambulance could be heard. Bella peered over the desk to see a few interns getting prepped to greet whoever was about to arrive, and left it at that.

The paramedic wheeled in their new arrival all whilst voicing out their information. "John Doe. He was found unconscious on the side of the road and woke up during the drive here."

"John Doe?" One of the interns repeated, "signs of amnesia?" John or Jane Doe - the names given to a man or woman who couldn't remember or cannot identify their own names. On hearing signs of a possible amnesia Bella prepared herself to stand and check the man over, but that was when she heard his voice.

"I'm fine! I don't have fucking amnesia and I don't have any fucking reason to be here!"

She knew that dirty mouth all too well. Part of her didn't want anything to do with Edward and she was close to sneaking out and allowing someone else to deal with him, but she couldn't. The fact that he was found unconscious played on her mind more than she cared to admit.

"He knows exactly who he is, he just refuses to say anything." The same paramedic spoke again, this time with a tired and fed up tone in his voice. Edward had that effect with people.

"Getting information from him would be like getting blood from a stone. Don't bother - I can tell you everything you'll need to know." Every head turned to Bella, including Edward who immediately let out a loud grown and slumped back down on the gurney.

 _Sorry honey, but I'm not thrilled to see you either,_ she quipped back internally.

Ignoring Edward's attitude and biting back her own, Bella continued. "Edward Cullen. 32, and a royal pain in your ass. Heavy drinker - hence why you can smell the drink off him from a mile away. I wish to have nothing to do with him, and after five minutes you won't either."

Every pair of eyes looked at her, all with the same unsure look. Bella rolled her own then pointed her arm down the hall. "Take him somewhere down there I'll join you in a second."

That was the moment Edward decided to add his two cents. "No. I refuse for her to treat me. She'll probably fucking kill me."

"Sorry sweetheart, doctor's orders." _Even though slipping you a deadly drug sounds like a decent plan._

 _0-0_

Bella stood outside the door to Edward's room, trying her best to psych herself up for what might follow. The first time she'd seen Edward since they broke up and so far it hadn't gone too smoothly. But she knew Edward's stubbornness - if any else tried to treat him he'd refuse to tell them the information they need, but Bella knows him better than anyone - she knows how he works; she knows which buttons to press to get him to spill the beans. At least she has that advantage over him.

With one final pep talk she took a deep breath of air, let it out slowly, then entered the room. _Just treat him like any other patient,_ she thought, _a quick examination and then he can leave... again._

"Look straight ahead," Bella ordered with barely a tone in her voice. With a torch she shined the light across his eyes to see how his pupils reacted to the sudden light source. "I need to do a small examination to check you for concussion or any damage that your fall may have caused. So, do you have any pain in your head or around your eyes?"

As thought, Edward crossed his arms over his chest and kept his lips sealed.

"I will sit here all night Edward, but mark my words, you won't be going anywhere until we're certain that you're okay."

"Why don't you just take my word for it?"

Bella placed his chart on the end of his bed, "because you don't know what is going on inside your brain right now, and if you don't answer these questions I'll just need to get your father down to do the examination himself. I'm sure he'd love to know that his baby boy was here... Now, I have just come from an eighteen hour shift, eleven of those hours were spent operating on a man's body, so I am in no fit state to deal with your bullshit right now, Edward."

"Fine. I have a headache, but that is it."

Bella wrote down his answers, "any nausea, dizziness, or double vision?"

"No. I felt sick, but that quickly passed."

Bella was also pleased to know that Edward could recall everything that happened before and after his fall - he was simply too stubborn to say so. "Do you have any idea how long you were out for?"

"I don't know. I woke up in the ambulance, but I don't know who found me or how long it had been before they did." He watched Bella continue to copy everything he said onto paper. She looked different. He remembered her natural glow, but she didn't have that anymore - why? Was it because it was the middle of the night and Bella was tired? No, it couldn't be that; even at four in the morning she had that glow. Why had it vanished? Her eyes. They looked sad. They too had lost their glow.

"You cut your hair." Edward said suddenly. That was the first thing he noticed about her - all her life Bella had had long, deep brown hair that fell in waves down her back. He remembered how much he loved to glide his fingers through her hair, and the sweet berry scent that he couldn't get enough of. But now it was nothing but a pixie cut atop her head. She still suited it, and Edward thought it looked very nice. It was just different.

"Well there's clearly nothing wrong with your eyesight." She answered but never looked up from his chart.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you cut it? I thought you liked long hair?"

"Yeah, well, things change." Bella rubbed at the bridge of her nose, something she always did when she felt fed up. "Stay here; I'll send someone up to you soon." She turned towards the door without another word.

"Where are you going?" He asked, but she never replied.

 _0-0_

Bella thought she was strong enough. She thought she could deal with Edward and all his crap, then discharge him with a clean bill of health, but she couldn't. Her mind was full of past memories when times were good and he was her future. He asked about her hair without the knowledge that he was the reason she cut it. He loved her long hair so much that she wouldn't dare cut it, but when he left, so did her reason to keep it long.

With tears fresh in her eyes Bella ran from one side of the hospital to the other, heading towards the person who understood what she was going through. People called her name as she ran past them, but she didn't stop. Running was the only thing that kept her together. If she had stopped, she would have broken down on the floor.

"Chief," she gasped as she ran into Dr. Cullen's office. Carlisle was up off his seat within the fraction of a second.

"Bella, sweetheart, what's the matter?" He held her quivering body in his hands as she burst into tears. It was the first time he had seen her cry like that in years. "Are you okay?"

"I thought I was strong enough. I thought I had the strength to do this. But I don't, and I don't think I ever will."

"Do what? What are you talking about? What's happened?"

"Edward. Edward happened."

 _0-0_

The man in question lay back in his bed, wondering what the hell had happened and what had made Bella run from the room like it was on fire. Before he arrived he couldn't have cared less whether Bella spoke to him or not, but that changed the second she laid eyes on him. He wanted to talk to her and see what was wrong, but he'd lost that right long ago.

A knock at the door interrupted his agonizing thoughts, it would have been a lie if Edward said he wasn't disappointed to find out it wasn't Bella returning but in fact his father. "How are you doing, son?" Carlisle picked out the chart from Edward's bed to read over everything Bella had written previously. He repeated the examination and was pleased to see that his son no longer had the signs of concussion.

"Can I go now?"

"I think it'll be best to keep you here just a little bit longer. But first I need to talk to you about something. What happened this evening? What made you have that much to drink?" In true Edward style he kept quiet, "what is it with you, Edward? You were never this reserved before, and now it's tearing everyone apart."

Carlisle knew his son well enough to tell that he was listening to his father's words, he just wasn't willing to respond, so with that Carlisle continued to talk. "You're missing out on so much, and look what this new attitude is doing to you. Bella couldn't bare to be in the same room as you, and we've all but ruled you from any family dinners, is that really what you want?"

After he still refused to say a word, Carlisle chose to leave the room and allow his son to rest before he was discharged. "Dad." The word was heard just as Carlisle closed the door, he almost thought he had imagined it.

"Yes?"

"Can you, um... fuck... can you tell her that I'm, er, sorry. Y'know, for this evening?"

Silently Carlisle closed the door, "Edward you know I'm not the person to say that. If you are honestly sorry then you need to mean it. It would mean nothing coming from me. So I'm going to let you go now and give you the chance to think about everything you have done and who you have hurt because of your selfish behavior. The ball is in your court."

 _0-0_

 **A lot of you don't like Edward, which is exactly what I want, but who can see his shell cracking? He's faced the past, now he has to face the present...**

 **Thoughts? X**


	5. Sweet Traditions

**I suck, I know that. But you guys rock; thanks for all the love.**

 **Chapter Five: Sweet Traditions.**

Throughout the years it had been a tradition for Esme and her children to make Christmas cookies - she would buy every edible decoration on offer and her children would slave over making their cookies, decorating them however they liked and then wrapping them up in cellophane and handed out to aunts, uncles, grandparents... It was something fun to do as a family, but also a way for her children to see that they don't need to spend a lot of money on presents. But as her children got older the tradition seemed to die down, that was until she became a grandmother and the fun started again.

Riley and her younger brother, Daxton, had their tiny aprons wrapped around their middles and they stared in awe at the selection of cookie cutters, candy and chocolate in front of them. The temptation to shove their hands in the bowls was almost too much for the siblings but Esme soon distracted them. "In front of you I have weighed out all the ingredients that you'll need. First we'll put the flour in the bowl..."

"I know which one is flour, Nanny! Mommy and I make cupcakes _all the time!"_ Without further instruction Riley poured powder-like substance into her pink mixing bowl and patiently waited for Nanny's next instruction. She knew Daxton was too young to do this by himself, she also understand that Nanny would need to help him and Mommy had said Riley needed to listen to everything that Nanny told her. Her favorite part of making cookies was when they had to rub the butter into the flour; it felt really funny against her fingers.

Once the dough was made, shaped, and laid onto a tray, Nanny did the honors of sliding the tray into the oven. Riley may be a big girl but only _bigger_ girls (like Mommies and Nannies) can use the oven.

"I already know what I'm gonna do, Nanny." Riley had snatched all the various colored icing pens and kept them tight in her hands to state her claim.

"And what is that?"

"Olaf! Maybe Sven too... does you have a reindeer cutter?" Riley was 'Frozen' mad. Basically if an activity didn't include the Disney characters then she was not interested. Every morning, for example, Mommy had to style Riley's hair in a side braid over one shoulder just like Queen Elsa. Daddy wasn't allowed to do it, 'cause he can't braid hair.

Esme sieved through the box of cutters and found one that would work. "Here you go, Sweetheart. And what about you, Dax?" she looked to her grandson, "how are going to decorate your ones?"

"Um... with candy canes!" The 4-year-old had already found the bowl of peppermint swirls... along with chocolate chips, M&M's and a giant pot of sprinkles. That boy could smell sugar from a mile away.

"Okay, well I'm sure we can do something with them. And who would you like to give your cookies too?"

"Daddy."

Riley was a mommy's girl, Daxton was a daddy's boy. Had been that way from day one.

"That's very sweet of you, Dax. And how about your aunties and uncles; will they get some too?"

"No. Jus' Daddy."

"I know who I'm giving mine too!" Riley announced as she shot one arm straight up in the air. "I'm givin' mine to Uncle Edward 'cause I think he'll like that."

Esme smiled sadly at the words her granddaughter spoke. Edward was always the most excited and eager when it came to cookie making. Emmett would more than likely get bored half-way in and Alice would be too tempted by the candies to pay attention, but not Edward - he'd copy his mother's every move and even after his siblings had left the room Edward would happily take over and decorate every cookie by himself. His enthusiasm for the holiday ran on for years into adult hood... until very recently. Esme cannot look at old family photos anymore without tearing up.

Her happy, smiley, full-of-life son had gone and had been replaced with a dark shell of a man with barely a shine in his eyes.

 _0-0_

She pulled up in front of the snow-covered log cabin and instantly noticed the lack of outdoor lighting or a decorated tree in the window - if Esme had her way she'd have that sorted in an instant. With the cookies and a handful of gifts balanced in her hands, she made her way to the front door and tapped her knuckles against the wood. The cabin was so small that Edward would have heard the engine coming to a halt, therefore he'd have looked out the window to see his mother's arrival. The knock to his door should not have come as a surprise to him.

"Mother," he announced standing to the side in a welcoming gesture. Once her hands were free she pulled her youngest son in for a warm hug. The feeling that ran through Edward as he held his mother in his arms was a feeling he missed. One that he hadn't felt in far too long.

"Edward, dear, how are you? Your Dad told me all about your recent accident."

"I'm fine; a knock to the head and nothing more than that. I was home by the following afternoon." He was about to offer his mom a cup of coffee or something to eat, but that was when Edward remembered he had nothing _to_ offer. A trip to the local supermarket was desperately needed.

"You need to be careful. It may have only been a knock to the head, but what if it had been more than that? What if you hadn't been found as quickly as you were?"

"Yes, but I was. That's all that matters."

Frustration rippled through Esme with a sudden gush. "That is not the point, Edward! It is far too dangerous for you to get that drunk and be all alone. You need to understand that."

"Was there a reason you came by?"

Esme let out a tired breath of air - she tried, but it wasn't enough to change his stubborn and heartbroken mind. "I spent my morning making cookies with the children and Riley insisted that all of her cookies went to you. She misses her uncle. Riley wants you to be happy again, Edward, and she hopes giving you these cookies will do that." Her son's lack of response gave her the chance to say more and do whatever she could to convince Edward to change his ways.

"In eight days time it will be Christmas Day and I don't need to remind you what we'll all be doing on that day. Sweetheart, life is short - please don't spend it getting drunk and ending up in hospital. I don't ask much from you - I barely ask anything at all - but all I ask is that you join us for our Christmas meal. That you spend the day with people who love you and you put a smile on your niece's face. Don't live in regret, Edward."

"Ha!" He let out a humorless laugh and rubbed his stubbled jaw with the palm of a hand, "don't live in regret? It's a bit too late for that."

"Then change it. Apologize for what you did wrong. Take this time to start again."

 _0-0_

 **I now want to make cookies... dammit.**

 **Thank you for reading, please let me know what you thought.**


	6. The Future

**I realize we didn't go into the 'present' much in this story, but the most important element is 'future'... now let's see what it holds.**

 **Italics are the scenes from his dreams.**

 **Chapter Six: The Future.**

The dreams plagued Edward like an unwanted visitor. He'd been finding it hard to sleep and what with his busy work load sometimes he only managed a few hours a night, so the last thing Edward needed was to wake up every hour due to invasive thoughts. The dreams didn't play out in movies, they played out in scenes. Like pieces of a jigsaw.

 _It was Christmas Day and the whole family had gathered around the giant table with a feast plated in front of them. Everyone is laughing, smiling, and sharing their love. But there was something missing from that picture, or some_ one _missing. Edward stood on the outside looking in to the family he once knew and loved; the family who'd now given up trying._

He awoke with a strange feeling in his chest - a tight squeezing in his heart. With a fresh coffee in hand and a new cigarette lit, Edward stood in his back yard and tried so hard to rid the feeling that had taken over. His meeting with his mother began to play over in repeat in his mind, how she begged him to join them on Christmas Day and how he seemed hesitant to agree. But after thinking it over and remembering his reasons for saying 'no', Edward shook it all off and went back in to start his day.

He lasted all of an hour before he found himself too distracted to focus on anything regarding his work, and went back outside for yet another cigarette. Usually he'd have three breaks during a normal work day, but that day was much different, and he couldn't help but think it was all to do with the dreams from the night before.

 _0-0_

The second night came, and so did the second terrifying vision. This nightmare was situated around an innocent trip to the supermarket where Edward was stoking up his fridge with a new supply of beer and frozen pizzas.

 _From the top of the aisle that he stood on came three people. Each one Edward recognized instantly, except they appeared much older than he remembered. The first person he noticed was the girl - she couldn't have been much older than fifteen with blonde hair so light it almost appeared white. She was too busy on her phone to interact with other people beside her._

 _The next person was a boy, a bit younger than the girl, but with the same facial features - clearly her brother. He had unruly hair that sat like a mop atop his head. It, unlike his sister's, was a deep brown in color. The second man, and third person in the group, although older than Edward remembered, hadn't changed in the slightest. It scared him to see how much his niece and nephew had grown up in the years since he'd last seen them._

 _He made eye contact with his brother-in-law but they never exchanged a single word, the children (Riley and Daxton) looked up at their uncle however it had been that long that they had no idea who he was._

 _"_ _Right kids, let's go." Jasper spoke with an irritated tone in his voice._

 _"_ _Dad, who was that man?" Edward heard Daxton ask once they had walked away._

 _"_ _It's no-one buddy. No-one you need to worry about anyway."_

Just like with the night before, Edward awoke with the same feeling taking over him. That dream was much darker mainly for the fact that young Daxton had no idea who Edward was. He had screwed up that badly with his behavior that not only had his family given up on him, but they no longer recognized him either. But that one was nothing in comparison to his third and final dream. Like the first, he found himself outside and looking in to a brightly lit house.

 _A family were seen decorating their Christmas tree. A man held his young child up high in his arms who then proceeded to help them place the precious star on the tip of the tree. Standing around them was a lady and two other children. Edward would have noticed the woman from a mile away. Her delicate posture and flowing brown hair would play in his dreams (the good ones) until the day he died._

Bella had a family. She had children and a husband - a husband that wasn't Edward. He'd never thought much over the idea of having children, but seeing Bella with kids that weren't his, caused him pain like he'd never felt before. It didn't take him long to realize what caused the actions of this image, it also didn't take him long to understand what he'd need to do to stop that from happening. But it had been so long, things couldn't change over night - Edward had to take baby steps in the right direction if there was any hope in altering those dreams. First things first he had to speak to one person in particular. A person who'd, hopefully, always be there for him.

Esme needed to set the table for one more person that Christmas. It might take time to make amends and fix the problems with his brothers and Bella, but if Edward could make his mom happy that was one thing scored off his lengthy list.

 _0-0_

 **Short chapter, I know, but I'm sick and honestly couldn't face much more laptop time. We will find out more of what happened between E/B before they broke up, but for now he's seen what could happen and understands something needs to change.**

 **Thank you for reading, let me know what you thought.**


	7. Changes

**This is the final chapter. Thank you for reading.**

 _"_ _... Cause the first time in forever,_

 _I finally understand,  
For the first time in forever,  
We can fix this hand in hand..."  
_ **For the First Time in Forever - Frozen.**

 **Chapter Seven: Changes.**

The turkeys were roasting, the vegetables were boiling and Esme's signature gravy bubbled away on the stove. Esme and her husband had shared their presents to one another and were now getting ready for the family to arrive. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach as she thought about their added guest; they couldn't remember the last family meal Edward came to, let alone one for the holidays. Of course there was the worry that an argument could break out and the whole day would be ruined, but Esme hoped she had raised her children to be more respectful.

"I hope we have enough food for twelve people." Carlisle joked - no matter whether Esme was cooking for two or twelve, she always seemed to make far too much food and Carlisle found himself eating leftovers for days to come afterwards. "Really love, two turkeys?" And they weren't just turkey crowns, no, they were the full bird.

"There will be some big eaters, and I'd have rather made too much than two little. Plus I'm sure Charlie would take some home with him - give Sue the night off from cooking."

"That reminds me," Carlisle left his wife to continue with her masterpiece and found a chair to sit on instead, "you told Edward that they were coming, right? Because I've told Bella, but the last thing we need is for him to flee the house before the meal even starts."

"Yes he knows they'll be here and he seemed to take it very well. I don't know Carlisle, but something seems different with him - like he's finally seen the light and realized what he has to do."

"I knew he'd come back. We just had to give him the space and patience to do so."

With the new relief in their heart and mind, the couple changed into their smarter outfits, finished setting up the table and popped open the champagne in time for their first guests to arrive. Their daughter, Alice, her husband Jasper, and their two children, Riley and Daxton, were the first to arrive, followed swiftly by their son, Emmett, his wife Rosalie. It was clear from the way Emmett rolled his eyes and laughed humorlessly that he didn't believe Edward would turn up. The two had such a strong friendship, but that (along with their belief) had long disappeared. Even Bella turned up before him, along with her father, Charlie, and his wife, Sue.

Fifteen minutes past their agreed time, there was still no sign. "I told you," Emmett huffed out with frustration, "I don't know we'd even think he has changed."

"Emmett," Rosalie shushed down her husband with the swat of a hand, "Edward's known for being late; there's no need to jump to conclusions just yet." Not even five minutes had passed before the group all turned their heads to the crunching of stones as a car came to a halt outside the house.

Esme was up off her seat faster than anyone had ever seen. Edward wandered into the house with his arms around his emotional mother. It was rather daunting for him to walk into a room where everyone was looking at him. Carlisle rose to greet his son, and save his wife from an emotional break down.

"I'm sorry for being late," Edward apologized, "it took me longer than I thought to clear the driveway."

"It's okay, son; you're here now and that's the main thing."

"I'm surprised that car still works, when was the last time you used it to go anywhere?" Emmett couldn't help but add his remark all while ignoring the rolling of eyes from the people around him.

Breaking up a probable argument between her two sons sent Esme back twenty-odd years, part of her enjoyed the sibling rivalry. It reminded her of how things used to be before everything was flipped upside down. "Now now, boys; this is not the day for negative talk. Emmett, I'll put you in charge of organizing all the presents, and Edward will come and help me in the kitchen."

"What made you change your mind?" Esme asked her son as they set up champagne glasses onto two separate trays.

"I'm not entirely sure myself... a realization, I think, of what could happen or what I'd miss out on, and it all of a sudden became clear that I didn't want that. I know things won't happen over night and there's a long road ahead, but today seemed like a good starting point."

"No-one is expecting miracles, Edward. Let's enjoy today and we'll think of the future tomorrow."

"I'm er... I'm..." Edward scratched away at his forehead in order to find the strength it took for him to say his next few words. "I'm sorry... for, um... everything. I'm, y'know, really sorry."

It may not have sounded too genuine to an outsider, but it took a lot for Edward to admit that he was wrong and needs to apologize. "I know you are, Sweetheart. You wouldn't be here if you weren't." With a comforting hug, Esme fought to keep her emotions at bay and picked one of the two trays of glasses. "We can't hide in here all day - let's go and enjoy our Christmas as a family."

 _0-0_

"I'm sitting next to Uncle Edward, 'kay!?" Young Riley hadn't left her Uncle's side since the moment he arrived, and he was okay with that. He forgot how much joy his niece and nephew brought him. "I asked Santa to make you happy for Christmas. And he did it!"

"Thank you, that was very sweet of you to ask for that." Edward helped Riley to climb onto his lap, her new dress (Queen Elsa from _Frozen)_ became caught under her feet which made the move very hard for Riley to do by herself.

"Does Auntie Bella make you happy again?"

"Um..." He peered over at the lady in question who was deep in conversation with her step mother and never noticed her audience. The two hadn't said anything since they arrived. "I hope that she will... but I'm not sure what to do..."

"I think you should do what Kristoff does to Anna!" Edward had no idea what Riley was talking about, however he allowed her to continue and let that bit pass. "Kristoff is her friend and helps Anna get back to Prince Hans because she loves him."

"Right... so I should allow her to go and be with someone else?" _Never take advice from a child..._

"No! Prince Hans is a bad man and Kristoff is there to look after Anna and then she knows that she loves Kristoff more! You need to help Bella and she'll know that she loves you again!"

"Okay, and what do I help her with?"

"Anything!" Riley shouted, "be her friend again!"

"You sure do know a lot about this, don't you?"

"I watch _Frozen_ a lot."

 _0-0_

The meal went without a hitch, presents were happily received and exchanged, and everything seemed to be going smoothly. Even Emmett had refrained from saying anything negatively towards his brother which is an achievement in itself. The children had gotten tired so the adults agreed to sitting down to watch a movie or whatever crap was showing on TV. Edward chose that moment to sneak outside for a cigarette - he had gone all day without one and withdrawals had sunk in.

Edward was only on his second intake when the door opened and Bella came running outside with her jacket and bag in hand. "Are you leaving already?" He asked, surprised.

"I got a call from the hospital. They need me, so I have to go." Bella read Edward's silence the wrong way, which made her eyes roll and a loud huff blow from her lips. "Go ahead and say it."

"Say what...?"

 _"_ _Running away again._ It's what you normally say when I go to work, is it not?"

The cigarette was dropped to the floor, it no longer held the same attraction to him. "That was before, when nothing seemed to matter apart from where the next drink would come from. Things have changed Bella, and I know it's hard for you to understand that, but I want you to see that I'm different."

"Just like that? Years of heartache and misery disappeared overnight? You're not Harry Potter, Edward - you can't just cast a spell over that."

"I know, but I'm willing to try and do what it takes. I'm sorry, Bella, for everything that I did. You didn't deserve that."

"No, I didn't..." She slowly edged away from Edward and further towards her car. "I really have to go, but... I'll send you a message when things quieten down a bit, okay?"

 _A little bit of hope, that's all you need._

 _0-0_

And Bella stuck to her promise - two weeks later she got in contact with Edward, first apologizing for being so busy, then asking if he'd like to meet for a coffee and discuss what he had said on Christmas Day. Their coffee date was awkward and neither knew exactly what to say to the other, but they managed to sort out their ideas which was a major leap in the right direction.

Bella was sorry for running away from Edward as much as she had done. She was sorry that many of their nights were cut short due to work, but he had to see that that was her life - _their_ life - and if he couldn't accept that then nothing would ever work between them.

Edward apologized over and over for the things he had said, for shutting her out when the going got tough, and for the amount that he drank. He confessed that he only drank that much because he knew he would get a reaction out of her. He admitted to missing the good days they had together and the holidays they shared, and promised that he'd do whatever it took to have that back.

Over the passing months they met up more often, once even meeting for lunch which seemed much bigger than meeting for a coffee. Things weren't back to normal, but both believed that in time they would be able to share that relationship once again.

Edward worked on his relationship with Emmett too. When Emmett announced that he and Rosalie would be having their first child towards the end of the year, Edward was the first one he told. Another niece or nephew to spoil and look after was fine by him.

By the following Christmas there was no doubt whether Edward would join or not (he hadn't missed a single family get-together), nor was their any doubt where his relationship with Bella had gone. The two were meeting up one night a week to go on a date of some sort, the plans were never set in stone, so if Bella had to stay at the hospital for whatever reason, they'd happily move it to another day or a later time. They were working together and taking daily life into consideration - something they lacked before.

Their relationship wasn't 'official', and statuses hadn't been changed on Facebook, but anyone who saw the couple knew it wouldn't be long before they had a label. The future looked bright, and as long as worked together, everything was going to be okay.

 _0-0_

 **And there we have it, thank you very much once again for reading and joining me on this little journey. Your final thoughts would be much appreciated.**


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